Falling Back
by Abby -WCD
Summary: Voldemort won. Harry lost. Now the truth is told...James Potter isn't as 'loving' as he seems. Warning, Harry angst! RR!


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I do own my poem! Yay! ^_^  
  
Summery: Years after the fall of the light Harry is still being tainted. When he discovers that the one he has always looked up to never loved him, how will he react? Will Voldemort be able to get the truth though Harry without damage? R/R!  
  
Warning: Rated PG-13 because just thinking about someone you loved hating you is rather harsh. Plus it tells of breaking one.  
  
Hint: If you don't want to read my lovely poetry, just skip it!  
  
  
  
Falling Back  
  
  
  
I'm falling back into the reigns of fog,  
  
Death comes to claim me yet I still fall.  
  
Even though the light is far past my naked eye,  
  
I still try to answer my life's call.  
  
  
  
The light lost against the unbearable darkness,  
  
And yet I'm still falling down this dark path.  
  
His mighty words strike me as a bolt of lighting,  
  
Which leaves me crying in the middle this eternal match.  
  
  
  
And yet I never fall back into your arms.  
  
  
  
  
  
~**~*~**~  
  
  
  
  
  
"Harry?" Her voice is soft and soothing just like the rushing waters of the steam flow by without anyone noticing. It just has the perfect harmony that hums slightly in your ear telling you that there is a point in life. I open my eyes slowly and saw a young lady hanging over me as if she was a large oak tree protecting me from the light of the sun. I see her worried face and I frown myself. She really should smile.  
  
"Yes?" I always have to keep my voice soft just in case he was around and was listening to my uncertain words. She sighs as she leaned backwards so the tiny bit of light from the light bulb stings my eyes from the sleepiness that was mixed within them. I close then tightly and I felt a small tear fall down my face and into the corner of my mouth. I parted my lips slightly to let that salty taste enter my mouth and fill it with flavor that told me that I was still alive. I opened my eyes at the sound of her sweet voice that filled me with joy.  
  
"My Lord wishes to see you at once," Just the way she looks made me give a slight sigh of disbelief. How could someone so beautiful be turned over into the hands of the evil, scheming, Lord Voldemort? My heart drops a note just remembering on how she was brought here by her darkened father. The man who's son brought me here to this castle. Lucius Malfoy. After having to live in this castle I found out that it reminded me of an old torturing room filled with unknown specimens that huddle together for the same purpose. They try to connect themselves for they are all scared of the same thing.  
  
They're scared of death.  
  
I shook myself out of the dream-like phase and into the present and I found myself staring into her soft gray eyes that contained a tinge light blue in them that reminds me of a cold, winter day. I start to think of a foggy day in the winter; the snow falling playfully from the beautiful sky that is clear from all clouds. The children were laughing and playing at the snow continued to fall onto the white grass.  
  
I heard a soft chuckle from the corner of the room and I lift my eyes off of the towering beauty and towards the shimmering darkness. A smile crept upon darkness' face and I winced as I tried to turn away; it is too hard to look into his face. Just the small smile he always leaves on his face breaks my happiness as a rock destroys the ice that lies beneath it. It haunts me.  
  
"Ah young Harry...so naïve, so breakable," his voice is like a slither that falls out of his cruel mouth that has said the undoable one to many times. He walks away from his hiding spot and stands over me so that his shadow covers my small figure.  
  
"My Lord," Oh, her voice is softer than a whisper yet it pierces my heart with a silent arrow shot by my breaker. I can tell that her words are forces yet she still bows to the wind as it blows her, the smallest mountain, down to her knees. He continues to contain his smirk as he turns his bloody scarlet eyes upon me. I fall down weakly inside of myself and I hear a soft snicker from the monster who stands over me.  
  
"So my Harry, have you changed your mind?" He asks as if he has never asked me this annoying question to me in my life. He sounds innocent but when you look into those dark, red pits of his you can tell that he is just faking it to turn you. To break you.  
  
"Can I take your silence for a yes?" He knows that I hate talking to him. It's not that I'm enraged at him; it is just that whenever he enters the room or comes out to haunt me I freeze up as a deer in a headlight of a car. I get extremely scared and yet I have no control over it. When he enters, I would rather die than have to confront him.  
  
"Yes, is it? You will take your place at my side?" Please, please, please go away! I can barely look at you and you expect me to answer? I want to die as soon as possible so I can get out of this hell yet God seems to hate me. I look over to my love and I still see that she is on her knees facing her Lord. I shudder slightly just thinking that I, myself, would have to do that someday.  
  
"Tell me Harry! Tell me that you will join me!" Shut up! Go away! I hate you! I can barely look at you without having to cry and I have to talk to you? No way!  
  
"Speak, Harry! If you don't I'll force you to," I turn my eyes upon him and I can feel my eyes as they start to water. Oh my God, I am crying in front of him. I lean backwards and I almost fall off of the bed yet I save myself by balancing my weight on the edge of the bed. I see his smile grow as he takes out his wand. I start to shudder nonstop and I'm crying a river. Please go away! Please!  
  
"You're crying? Why are you crying Harry? It makes you look weak," Weak? WEAK?  
  
"Go away!" I hear myself yell out yet I don't remember telling myself to. He just continues to smile and he leans forward so he can touch my face.  
  
"Go away? Is that what you were thinking the whole time of our conversation?" He uses one of his long, white fingers to wipe away a clump of tears that were trying to hit the bedspread. My shuddering continues.  
  
"Is it?" He leans even closer so he can take of his skinny, pale hands and comb it through my wild, black hair. I can't move.  
  
I hear him sigh as he sits down from his strange position and onto the bed. He continues to look into my bright green eyes and his smile never fades.  
  
"I guess it is," His hand within my hair begins to come out and I am praying that he is going to leave so I can think of some way to get out of here. He is getting off of the bed and is heading towards the door.  
  
"My Lord..." I turn my eyes upon the fallen beauty that lies at the side of my bed. He turns around and looks upon her and his smile fades. Why did you have to stop him?  
  
"Yes?" His voice is harsh and his eyes are now glaring at her. I've found out that he only sweet talks to me because he really, really wants me. But to slaves or his lower Death Eaters he is as cruel as hell.  
  
"Didn't you want to tell him about this afternoon?" His expression changes and he smiles and he comes back over towards me.  
  
"Ah yes, I did," Why, WHY did you have to tell him? He was just about to leave and you stopped him...  
  
"Harry," he sits back down on my bed and places his hand back into my wild hair, "This afternoon I am inviting you to an execution," Oh my God, please don't tell me...  
  
"Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are going to be hung," No!  
  
"No! Please don't!" I find myself screaming and my arms wrap around his chest and I am weeping in his lap. I'm hugging him?!  
  
His smile remains and he wraps his arms around my pale form. I can't feel my scar since he has places a spell on it as soon as I got here. Yet right now I sort of wish that it were burning so I would have enough sense to pull away from his mighty grip.  
  
"Shush Harry, everything will be all right," He is cooing me as if I am a baby. His small baby who is just scared. Let me go!  
  
"W...why are you hanging th...them?" I can barely hear my voice as I asked the forced question. He just continues to hold me and starts to rock me back and forth. He even has a hand on my back that he is rubbing in a circle as if he is trying to soothe me. Please, leave! Let go! I'm not yours!  
  
"Because," he stops after his first word and he pulls away and I am more than eager to pull away. His eyes burn into mine and I can still feel the stream of tears falling down my face. Right now not even the taste of my salty tears can wake me up from this nightmare.  
  
"Because they are getting in the way of the both of us. Together, we will more than anything Harry," They were getting IN THE WAY?! What? I lean backwards so much that I fall onto the hard ground but I don't stop there. I'm pushing myself backward into a corner so I don't have to look at him anymore. I hear a soft sigh and him getting off of the bed. He walks around it and in front of me. I pull my knees to my stomach and hugged them. My head falls into the center and I'm crying up a storm. Oh my God, I'm so scared! Help!  
  
"Go with him Harry," I raise my head to see that she is standing next to him with a brief smile on her face. She walks over even closer than my breaker did and kneels down so we are eye-level. Her soft grayish-blue eyes are piercing into my fading green ones. She places one of her tiny, fragile hands onto my face and wipes some of the streaming tears off of my face, "He will help you,"  
  
"H...how?" I can't stop from shuddering. I'm so scared! Please, help!  
  
"He can be the father you never had. Please Harry; join him! Join him and then you won't be living like this!" My father? MY FATHER?!  
  
"No! Leave me alone! Just leave me alone!" I'm now clawing at my head and I'm almost screaming, oh God; I'm so scared! Please, mum and dad, help me! Save me!  
  
"I am ordering you Harry, you will come with me! Now!" Voldemort's voice gets harsh and he waves his wand that he has had in his hand since he threaten me the first time and screams out some unknown words to me. I see a small flash of swirling black light that comes towards me and hits me in the eyes. My sight is taken away from me and I'm scratching my eyes as if I'm trying to take them out. Please, no!  
  
"Be calm and it won't hurt as much," his voice still haunts me even though I'm blinded. Now I don't see what I am surrounded by but what will happen in the future. I see them, Sirius and Remus, their delicate necks are hung and both of their eyes are lifeless. No, this won't happen! I won't let it!  
  
The scene passes and now I see the two of them again in a younger form but now they are smiling and laughing with what looks like a copy of myself. The only difference is that my copy has dark, chocolate brown eyes that are filled with happiness. Next to him is a young woman who has red hair with two bright green eyes. I try to yell towards them yet they all disappear from my sight. No!  
  
I bright of white light fills my mind and then I see him with his cruel smile and thin figure and he is walking forward and he is getting bigger and bigger...go away! Please!  
  
"Listen Harry, listen to what they have to say," His smile grows as he vanishes and I see my mother and father on a large, green sofa. They both are holding frowns and staring hopelessly at the ground. I perk my ears up.  
  
"Now James, you know we can't do that," Oh, my sweet mother. Her voice is filled with such concern that I passes me and makes me insides swell. I see a small tear fall down her beautiful cheek and my father, James, lets his finger clam it.  
  
"Yes we can. We have to! If we don't who knows what will happen," His voice is strong and is blowing against my weaken mind. What are they talking about?  
  
"But James, we just can't leave him here, what is Tom comes?" Tom? Please tell me they aren't talking about...  
  
"He isn't ours! He's Tom's! We made the bet and we lost. Harry is his now," What? I'm Tom's? I was lost in a bet...? No!  
  
"Why did we bet him? Why did he want him? Why James?" My mother is now shaking my father with such force that he is almost thrown off of the couch. He just sighs.  
  
"I love Sirius more than anything and I would risk anything for him; even my own son. Now that we have lost we must keep our end of the bargain..." Oh God, no...  
  
"You don't even care? Not at all?" My mother's voice is broken and yet she looks upon her husband...my father. Holy God...he doesn't even care? He doesn't love me? Oh, help...anyone! Please!  
  
"I only care if you or Sirius cares. I'm not one to give love without a reason," No, this couldn't have happened! NO! I won't believe it!  
  
"James, I care! You should care too! He is you freaking son!" Mother, why doesn't he care? Why doesn't he understand! Someone, tell me why HE DOESN'T CARE!  
  
"So? I don't even know him and I am expected to love him?"  
  
"Yes you are! He is YOUR SON! You and him share the same blood!" Please, Mother; tell me this isn't happening! Someone tell me this isn't happening! PLEASE!  
  
"Well, I don't love him. I'm only going to protect him because you want me to. Okay?" Father, you don't love me? Why can't you see me here crying? Tell me why!  
  
"James Potter, I can't believe you! You are willing our only son over one of your friends? Why?" Mother's voice has cracked. She is whimpering herself. Help...  
  
"Because he is destined to become the next dark wizard and it would affect our family name! That is why!" FAMILY NAME?!  
  
"Oh my God, James Potter! Why are you acting like such a spoiled brat? He is you son!" I can feel myself being pulled from this state of mind. Help; get me out fast! Anyone! I can't stand this truth! It hurts so much! Stop it!  
  
"I don't care! I hate him! I hate our son Lily! Get it? I hate him and I really don't care if he dies or not!" STOP! My God, STOP!  
  
"Shut up; just shut up!" My mother has gotten off of the sofa and I am swirling out of the scene. The next time I blink my eyes I see him in front of me again. His smile continues to stay in its spot. No...that just didn't happen...it didn't! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I WON'T!  
  
"Now will you join me Harry?" I look behind him to see that she is still standing there with her small lips in a smile. I see her eyes have changed; the gentleness that was once in them has disappeared and has turned into evil. I turn back to my red eye breaker and fall back down to the floor face down.  
  
I'm broken.  
  
  
  
  
  
~**~*~**~  
  
  
  
  
  
I wish that I could just fly away from here,  
  
Falling down isn't just what I thought.  
  
I see them again like they were once again.  
  
This time I learn what is true, and what is not.  
  
  
  
Oh, save me the trouble and break me here!  
  
I don't think that I could stand anymore from the ruthless past.  
  
Drop me from the sky and let me fall,  
  
And I promise you; my spirit will never last.  
  
  
  
And then I will fall back broken.  
  
  
  
  
  
N/A: Woooh, that fic was really sad. Oh, I'm so mean! Anywho, please review! Thanks a bunch! ^_^ 


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